GOOOOOOOD FRIDAY,VIETNAM! (This is Non-sense)

I'm not really going to talk about Vietnam, because I don't believe it really exists. Like the moon landing the government just made it up to keep people distracted while they rasied the bubblegum tax.
What I do believe in is Jesus. I believe he is walking around today with holes in his hands and feet, drinking wine from the gutter, just wandering around, homeless.
I thought this one homeless bummy bum vagrant pauper guy was Jesus, but it turns out he wasn't. I really shouldn't have let him sleep in my bed. He hogged all the covers. Jesus wouldn't do that. Jesus would share, and spoon me for warmth. And Jesus wouldnt have cryed about his hard life on the streets and begged me to let him stay. He would have gotten up in the morning and made the bed and left quietly. This imposter jesus was still in my bed when I got home from work this morning. we was still asleep. When I shook him to wake him up, he was all like "I haven't slept in a real bed in three years. Would you mind if I take a shower?" and I was like "Fine, but you have to keep your clothes on." Then I called the police and told them that there was some homeless guy taking a shower in his clothes in my bathrrom and that I wated to press as many charges as I could so that he would never see the light of day again. Before the cops showed up I smashed up some furniture and cut a few slashes into my face.
It was worth it. I got to see them mace fake Jesus and throw him into the back of a Paddy Wagon. Then the cops said "Happy Good Friday" which really cheered me up, because the real Jesus is out there, somewhere and he's alive and kicking. HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY.